The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown
Posted on Feb 4th, 2019
As you may remember, one of my challenges this year is to “read a novel every month”. I figure this is completely in the incorrect direction, however, please bear with me. A novel is “typically representing character and action with some degree of realism”. Sure, that is missing being “fictitious”, I just couldn’t decide which novel to read. It fits the rules to read something every month, no matter how intense it happens to be.
January 2019’s Book
I figured I should fall back to something I wanted to read years ago. Don’t get me wrong, like roughly 5 years ago. Everyone has stumbling blocks in terms of what they can do perfectly. This can be in terms of consistency, for the easy example, as I nearly didn’t read my first “book a month”. I figured it may as well be the place I start this years challenges.
It plays a key role in what we do, and obviously how we manage it. I figure, with the topic(s), I can share a bit of how it comes across to me. When you suffer difficulties you might feel like you are sitting in the middle of a dissaster. We shouldn’t let that get to us, despite what other people say or do. We have definitely struggled more than enough, lets rather just find the gifts for ourselves.
“The dig-deep button is a secret level of pushing through when we’re exhausted and overwhelmed, and when there’s too much to do and too little time for self-care”
It is important for us to embrace our lives, the good, the bad, the ugly, the silly, the strange, and even more. For the “read a book a month” challenge it happened to fit as the book. I have borrowed an actual novel from a friend, I just haven’t gotten through it yet. That is why we have to swap to a different book for my “January”.
It is slightly amusing that January is the difficult month of the year. This time, it happens to be the worst month for this challenge. I shared here that I want to read a book a month, and to be honest? I just need to work on my consistency. That is why the first book (for January) turned into “The Gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown”. Thanks to sources I managed to get ahold of it and read it through.
The simplified summary of what this is meant to be may seem like a confusing topic to read. For lack of a better way to put it out there, it is extremely easy to get “bone-tired” with everything. Through trouble I caused, trouble friends accidentally caused, the stress and anxiety I constantly live with? All we need to do is suck it up and move forwards. We will definitely love our destinations.
Minimalist Version of Thoughts and Feelings
I wrote a lot, thought it through, and the obviously removed it. I don’t want to ever write any negativity, if I can help it, ever again. Reading this brought good things to the light, where the light was being blocked by some darkness. Due to that, I will definitely read it again a few times. It is bringing interesting adjustments to who I am towards other people.
With that being said, sorry when I have hurt, or disappointed, you. Sorry when I was agressive in my attempted defences, whether or not they were things that I needed to defend myself for. You should know that I understand we all suffer through difficulties, and I am here with you. I will help out, hold your hand, and we can get through this together.
The book brought it to the correct lighting, we are equals. There is a fine line here, don’t get me wrong. I will still hold people accountable for what they did, I just accept that it happened and I offer them forgiveness, no matter what. “What’s done, is done…”
With these words, I can see I was definitely a part of our current blame culture. I don’t want to be part of the blame culture, ever again. I will stop blaming people, it doesn’t bring anything good (proving I’m right isn’t necessarily good at all), it literally makes me look like the bad negative person. That is, whether or not I am actually correct. By stopping my blame I can be the positivity in my own life.
With that being said, the book also shares that we should have connections. It is something I feel I can’t fix for myself at the snap of a finger. There are hundreds of people I definitely have connections with, that has nothing to do with my problem with “connections”. When someone would like to come into your life, and stay there with importance, they should make a legitimate effort to connect to your life.
You can most likely understand the story the book shares. We’re at a restuarant, both of us are on our phones, our kids are on their phones. That isn’t anywhere near a connection. When you want to make sure you get something, like a message a day, you cannot ignore the person you require it from. Connect with them. I’m sure you can understand what people will see as negativity.
- The person that needed to send a “message every day” stopped since they couldn’t deal with no responses anymore
- The person requesting a “message every day” rarely said anything to the person they told to send a message every day, they hate that the person missed a few days
The book points it out perfectly, “we are worthy NOW“. A gigantic thanks goes to the friends and family (don’t worry, also to the strangers I spend time with through communities I am in, I don’t want to leave you out). You have constantly shown me that you love me in your lives, which is why I appreciate it a lot.
This can be an intriguing read for those who struggle with negativity. There is a lot more to it, and reading it a few more times pays off. I can guarantee you will be just like me and see completely new messages inside what is shared.