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One thing which was suggested I read this year is The Fifth Agreement. The idea is quite simple: discover who you really are to live a happier, more enjoyable, life as a whole.

With what I wanted to do, you know, the adult steps in life, I worked out I needed to change myself as a whole. Spending money on things isn’t enough – rather, it’s important to be aware of what’s actually happening to, and around, you, first.

That being shared, you should read through The Fifth Agreement yourself, probably several times like I’ve already done so far. I just felt it’s time to put my thoughts, actions, and what I’ve learned from it, to words here. Sure, it made my life difficult at the start of the year, but it helped me see that I allowed people’s troublesome lives to cause me to make my life troublesome.

I would say ‘no, I have to stay at my own place, rent my own car, so that I can head home earlier when I need to,‘ and the answer was always ‘no, we’ve chosen what you will do for ourselves, we will see if we can get your home early.‘ I should have realised back then, as I was already starting to read this book to fix my mind, I shouldn’t have gone to the wedding as a guest as I wasn’t listened to. Everything that was promised, in consolation once I was told what would happen, to me was thrown away.

It took a lot for me to step a little bit back and re-evaluate my whole life. I spent a long time in January this year with the fear of rejection, nothing to do with the wedding above. How I was being treated was a constant sign that I wasn’t worthy, this made my thoughts ignore what I needed.

The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough, and we start searching for something that we call perfection.

The Fifth Agreement – Don Miguel Ruiz

People will forever live with denial; I was living with denial. What I changed to start this year, which ended up throwing tons of curve balls at me, was very simple: stop believing it has to be the truth. I lived by accepting the love and desire showered onto me, ignoring the bad things that happened because of it. I stuck to focusing on the good, I tried my best to ignore the hurtful actions. This isn’t saying they are bad people, no, rather that it helped me realise I was living by holding onto their innocent lies.

I started to live through what I learned in this book and it all became fabulous for me again. I will read it again a few times in the future.

It took tremendous effort for me, with my difficulty in building new memories, but it all became way better for me. I now live with a more peaceful state of mind in my crazy brain as I’ve learned to pay attention to caring for myself. Difficult to start, will never let it go.

I stopped throwing my money away to buy what others thought they might want but always just rejected and denied. Yep, might want, I stopped letting people’s wants use my money for me. I stopped letting two troubled boys say bad things about, and to, me constantly. Yep, I hope they get better, just keep them away from me.

What really matters is to be what you really are — to be authentic, to enjoy life, to be love. And not the symbol of love that humans have distorted, but real love — the feeling you can’t put into words, the love that is the result of being what you really are.

The Fifth Agreement – Don Miguel Ruiz

The fabulous thing this book brought me: peace of mind.

I’m finally happy, comforted, and in a relaxed state, again. My job hunt is going fabulously. My personal feelings are happier, I grin constantly again these days, which helps me not let myself get stuck through others problems anymore. Yes, I will help people like I did in the past, I’ve just learned to only help where my mind is still happy. No longer will I let others do, or say, things that lead my thoughts in the wrong directions.

I’m in charge of my mind now, and with that being said, it’s fantastic to have the story fixed inside my mind again. This book really helped me work it out better, I would recommend everyone reads it!