I finally managed to finish getting through Attached, in Part One I shared I would organise to finish it off, and I finally have. What reminded me to make this review happens to be something mentioned in a TikTok I saw yesterday.
We have a back pocket generation. Everyone has something in their back pocket. “I can just re-download the app.”
Adlib quote from Jessica Young – Life Coach
This book has helped me move into better communication, to stop me being a member of the back pocket generation, as a whole. This came from the book making me realize how to get better at communicating with all others in my life. Even despite some difficulties I was struck with, I’m already feeling much better, already.
The new methods I’ve chosen to stick to are super simple, with my personality. Dreams of future romance, friends, family, and work have taken an upturn for me already from two main thoughts. I will stick to these ideas from the book as much as I can, the first of which is:
Worries and fears surface more when you are not communicating your concerns and are letting things build up.
Part 4: 11 – When Should I Use Effective Communication?
I’ve started to get back to using the moment extra time my psychologist shared I should make use of, around end of 2017. Before talking to people, I use STOP: Stop, Think, Observe, Proceed; as much as possible. I won’t go into the deeper explanations; anyone can look it up with ease. It has helped me calm my nerves, to realise a better course of action(s) and it has paid off tremendously already.
The other thing which stood out to me, and has helped even more, is to avoid taking everything personally.
You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner’s moods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner’s behaviours too personally. You experience a lot of negative emotions within the relationship and get easily upset.
Part 1: 3 – What Is My Attachment Style
This isn’t to share personal results, it’s just the other thought which stood out to me. There’s a point in this book where they share the idea along the lines of “Is it intentionally done to hurt/annoy me? Probably not, give the benefit of the doubt, and it wasn’t intentional.” It already is working well for me, and I’m seeing a lot in a better light. Stuff which triggered me in the past, and felt like it might
It’s such a small shift in how I’m looking at what people around me do and say. I’ve even surprised a few people, who know me fairly decently, by avoiding arguments as much as I can. I’m definitely taking the time needed to build the ideas from this book into my life, I’m already seeing immediate great results as I’m starting.
I highly recommend this book to get better with interactions with everyone in your life. I’m even going to read it through a few times again to make sure I didn’t miss more awesome adjustments I can use. It’s helped me get back to a happy mindset enjoying everything that’s happening around me again. It was much needed.