One of the things I focused on since the start of my recovery, is I can always learn new things. It started in my childhood, when I started to learn programming – assembly in dos up to Delphi on an early Windows version, it at least programmed my mind to understand we can always find a different way to learn. Today, I hope I can help inspire you to grow better as a person.

Images are generated through StableDiffussion; kept things simple. Text written by me.

Consider your own brain. Around 100 billion neurons, with even up to 1,000 trillion synapses, where as a child it’s estimated around 2 million new connections are made every second. As adults we don’t generate as much; when actively studying it can average around a few thousand new connections ever day; and if you aren’t actively learning often it brings increased risk of future memory problems, alongside weaker neurons. I’m not a neurologist, just with their recommendations after my injuries, I actively study regularly.

It’s tough to just say go study again, get higher certifications. I did, and actively still do. You can always start small. I used to use DOAC on YouTube as a starting step, I can only recommend older videos there, now, as it used to always show the topics I needed to expand my mind in. Now I’ve swapped to several other podcasts which are more aligned with growth, such as Evan Carmichael’s #Believe, which are better aligned with my improvement goals.

Similarly, you can even get certified courses, to stay up to date with the rapidly changing world we are in. Consider how my next five certified courses are (overlapping some of my previous certified courses to a degree, honestly just reinforcing my past studies, so to speak):

• Deep Learning: Neural Networks from Scratch
• Hands on Deep Learning on PyTorch for Beginners
• Build Image Generation AI From Scratch with Python (Keras/Tensorflow/Diffusion)
• Fine Tuning LLM with Hugging Face Transformers for NLP
• Private, Independent LLM Development with Ollama and Python

The aim is to keep my mind capable of proper function in the rapidly changing time we’re living through. Not get outdated, similarly to how I moved from Delphi to Visual Basic, then up to C#, over to C for several months, and now I’m enjoying my move over to Rust. Expand your knowledge, learn a few newer things, don’t let the world leave you behind without warning.

The next place to focus is your fitness, it isn’t too tough to get the broad benefits. You should have 3 sessions of strength training, it reduces anxiety and depression, boosts confidence, as well as cognitive function. When you can, go for a walk for between 5 and 7km every day, it improves your mood, reduces stress, enhances memory and focus.

The important things to focus on which you can benefit from:

• Weight-bearing, aka. strength training mentioned above, improves bone health. This helps prevent osteoporosis, supports mobility, and at older age can help keep your independence.
• If you have resistance training in your exercise routine mix, you can improve muscle growth. It helps to preserve muscle mass, prevents age related declines, improved metabolism.
• Try ensure 48 hours recovery gaps between heavy weight exercises. It’s alright to do exercises 2 days in a row, just ensure you have a day gap, at minimum, between your heavy weights routines. Use the weights that are heavy enough that the last 2 or 3 reps are challenging, but you can maintain the best form.
• Even as low as 3km a day can have great mental and physical benefits. Walking doesn’t have to be continuous, you can even do 3 separate 1km walks at a brisk pace in a day. Benefits are amplified by sunlight, and the fresher air, which can enhance mood and reduce stress.
• Find your limits, and push to achieve them for 1 to 2 weeks. Then you can gradually increase weight, reps, or distance, gradually. Don’t go too big too fast, you will burn yourself out.
• Aim to have 1.6 to 2.2 grams of protein per kilogram of weight daily. For example, a 70kg person needs 112-154g daily.
• Sleep 7 to 9 hours nightly; muscles are actually built during rest, after the workout.
• Weight-bearing activities such as walking (yes, your body is a weight), running, dancing, and strength training, all stress bones and it triggers the bones to strengthen. Ensure you get enough calcium, and vitamin D, daily.

It can be tough to build a strong habit, so find the way the works easiest for you. In around 2 to 4 weeks when you have the consistency you will start to experience the mental and physical health benefits. Remember, consistency! If you aren’t consistent, it will be slower, and have lesser benefits.

You can even just buy a special 2 dumbbell up to 10kg set for yourself that you can adjust the weights on. They can be found for R500-1500; if that’s too much, you can even start with a single 2kg dumbbell from as low as R99. As boring as it might be, you can walk back and forth in your room, house, or even yard. As limited your exercises options might be, you can already improve by just starting with a single exercise and building up your consistency.

Now, your friends group will shrink over the years. It happens. Especially if you improve yourself, alongside taking pride in your own worth. For example, when you’re the odd person of some group, the Spence from The King of Queens. Don’t let yourself be the one who’s only allowed to stay a friend since you do everything the others tell you to. They will distance themselves when you learn to say no to them as they will finally have a “justification” for it.

No harsh attacks here, just consider how while you study and grow, even as an adult, you’ll outgrow them. The acronym that helped me understand it better which I just learned this morning: F.R.O.G.S. – what friendships should be (from the Christian Happy and Healthy Podcast), in a nice manner.

• Faithful – the ones who show up whether it’s good, or bad, all seasons, no matter what happens. Yep, always there for you.
• Reciprocal – a mutual exchange friend. If they’ve stopped ever talking to you, or avoid helping you the one time in a decade you actually need help, it isn’t a true friendship, unfortunately. There will still be a mutual effort between actual friends.
• Organic – some friends will just work out perfectly; you’ve spent enough time together, over the years. Now you rarely see them, even years apart. Perhaps they moved far away, then when you see them immediately you catch up and chat, that’s organic.
• Growth – people who help you grow. The ones who dislike your growth will start to distance themselves from you as you improve. It helps to find true friendships.
• Safe – you want to be able to tell your friend anything, no matter how hard. If you try make a tough change in your life, the safe friends will always help you.
  

No, it doesn’t mean when people stop being my correct F.R.O.G.S. that I’ll hold it against them. These rules are what lead to me distancing myself from a few acquaintances who refused to help me grow when I decided to start my sobriety. The rest of the group got rid of me then since I didn’t see the need to defend myself when my first assistance request in years was rejected. It just means they’ve unfortunately moved away from friends to past acquaintances.

This note about the friendships even ignores how I still study almost every day, my recovery therapy has helped me improve my thoughts, and I’m comfortable enough to say it feels odd to out grow people. Stay strong, the right people will stay.